7th May 2025, a fluttering chest i have things to say!

i have always found it difficult to not let anxiety get in the way of pursuing my creative hobbies. and i guess it comes from being afraid, and having low self-esteem and thinking whatever i do wont be worth it, wont be good or i wont be able to express myself properly.

but i have been trying to see anxiety as a bell, a bell that tells me 'ah there is something you want to say or do'. I meditate everyday (i am currenlt yon day 73 i think). I am happy to sit with myself, to feel the sensations in my body and to focus on a feeling of ease and comfort, to really say to myself over and over, its ok, i am here for you.

but somehow when it comes to channeling the generalised anxiety i feel into a creative practice i have a wall up or a block

i think it will be fun to use this website to document my progress with dealing with generalised anxiety and the process of channeling it into various creative practices, a place i can babble about what works and what doesnt. what comes easier to me

to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable, as i suspect that is were you can have breakthroughs when it comes to 'art' or a creative practice. i was so desparate to write this down in the hope that anyone might read it i thought id just go ahead and write this in plain html. i am in the process of learning how to use HUGO to set up a nice blog page on here but i know that will take some time and i just had to get started right away.